"An artist's...

...duty is rather to stay open-minded and in a state where he can receive information and inspiration.  You always have to be ready for that little artistic Epiphany."
-Nick Cave


DA #7:  Surviving Summer '12

I leave for school tomorrow.  So excited to get out of the house, so nervous for the week to come.  It's going to be a busy one and nothing sees to be going right so far.  In any event, I've been reflecting on the summer a great deal these past couple of days.  When we first got home, I had nothing going for me- every potential job opportunity seemed to hit a dead end.  Occupied myself with a crocheting project.  Made a life-size yoda doll for Jon's birthday (which by the way is probably one of the creepiest things I've ever laid eyes on).  After awhile, I caved and started a search online.  Filled out five million applications and finally received 2 calls.  One for a senior care taker position and the other with an inventory company.  The senior care taker position ended up not working out, but I did land the other job...which led to a very interesting summer.

The people who I worked with were very definitely interesting characters.  There was the bearded lady and the woman with very crooked teeth and pants that were too short.  A woman with hair she didn't style very well and the lady who looked like a crack addict, but laughed loud enough to make anyone smile.  The flamboyantly gay guy who has Celiac disease and the 80 year old man who barely has a clue as to what's going on.  The group of black women who always stuck together, along with their friend who could always be heard no matter how large the store was.  To anyone passing by, we looked like the weirdest bunch you've ever seen.  But as I slowly got to know everyone a little better, I realized how huge each and every one of their hearts were.  It made me think about how quick the human race is to judge one another.  If we all stopped to give out a compliment every once in awhile, the world would be a much better place.  Even just a friendly smile to a complete stranger.  You never know just how much that little action could mean to someone.

It may even save their life.

Pattern Credit HERE

"A healthy...

...attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others.  Be a carrier."
-Tom Stoppard


DA #6:  Healthy Baking Attempts

Not too long ago I came across an image that contained healthy substitutes to be used in baking.  So naturally, I had to try these suckers out.  In search of new recipes, I found one for Peanut Butter Banana Bread.  The original recipe looked beyond amazing, but I decided to test these things out.  It took 2 tries to get something edible.

Attempt 1:
-3 ripe bananas
-1/3 cup plain Greek yogurt
-1/3 cup peanut butter
-3 tbs avocado (butter substitute)
-1/2 cup chocolate soy milk (egg substitute)
-juice from 1 lemon (egg substitute)
-1/2 cup granulated sugar
-1/2 cup packed brown sugar
-1.5 cups blackbean/garbanzobean flour (flour substitute)
-1/4 cup ground flaxseed
-3/4 tsp baking soda
-1/2 tsp salt
-1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
-1/8 tsp allspice
-2 tbs chopped dry roasted peanuts

So basically, I took everything up to (and including) the sugar and put it into the Kitchen Aide.  Turned it on, and let it become a big bowl of liquid mush.  For the bean flour, I took a bag of each of the dry beans and threw them into a food processor...house sounded like it was under attack.  And the beans weren't finely ground (maybe because I gave up too early).  I don't suggest ever doing this.  Anyway, I added everything else into the pile of liquid mush and mixed it for a little.  Poured the mixture into a lightly sprayed loaf pan and threw it into a 350degree oven for 65minutes.  When I took it out, it looked nice and solid.  Inserted a toothpick and it was clean.  Let it cool for a couple of minutes and then flipped the pan over to let the cake cool on a cooling rack.  The cake proceeded to seep through the cooling rack and onto the counter (ie, very much not solid).  I quick grabbed a spatula, scooped everything up, slopped it back into the pan, and shoved the pan back into the oven.  It never did solidify.  In any event, I dumped it onto a plate and squished it together so it kind of resembled a cake shape.  Until we finally threw it away, it was referred to as "the poop chillen' on the counter."


Attempt 2:
-a heaping 1/3cup of peanut butter
-1/3cup chocolate soy milk
-juice from half a lemon
-1 16 ounce can of chickpeas, attacked by the food processor
(everything else stayed the same)

Additionally, I used a 8"x8" pan instead of the loaf pan so it would cook more evenly.  Put it in the 350degree oven for 65minutes, and then lowered the temperature to 250degrees for 10minutes.  When it came out you could tell the center was still not solid, but I let it cool in the pan where it continued to cook.

This sucker came out SO much better than the first try.  And it even looked appetizing!  We had "ladies night" yesterday and everyone loved it.  I'm quite pleased.

Side by side comparison:

I went online and found a recipe calculator to determine the nutritional information.  In 1/16 of the pan, there is 163 calories, 4.8g fat, 256mg sodium, 206mg potassium, 30.2g carbs, 3.2g fiber, 19.1g sugar, and 4.1g protein.  I compared it to the original recipe.  Fewer calories and grams of fat (and no cholesterol vs. 29g in the original).  More potassium and fiber.
Not too shabby.

"Peace...

...of mind comes from not wanting to change others."
-Gerald Jampolsky

DA #5: Temporarily Deactivating Facebook

There comes a point when you slowly start to lose faith in humanity.  It's a scary feeling- especially when it happens in your religious institution.  I don't want to sit here and bash anyone for saying the disgusting things they've said, yet I can't help but wonder how people can feel so negatively towards other human beings.  It has been instilled in us by society to pass judgement on any individual who is different from ourselves.  But it scares me when people can't look past these differences and see the beautiful souls roaming around.

This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me.  Mainly thanks to my hormones, but also very much based on the situations I've found myself in.  I decided to take a break from non-intimate contact with other people.  My Facebook has been deactivated for now.  It's been about 24 hours since doing so, but I actually feel a bit freer.  I'm not entirely sure why, but it feels wonderful.

And all I want to do is post a status about how great I feel after doing so...

"It...

...doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations.  If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated.  Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on."
-Sharon Salzberg


DA #4:  Discovering True Happiness

I don't think anyone really reads this, but I'm apologizing anyway for what's about to come...a lovey-dovey-mushy-gushy-makemewanttovomit entry all about how I'm crazy in love.  Not my usual thing, but here goes.

Jon and I have been together for just over 10 months.  To some people, that's nothing.  For me, that's about 12 eternities.  I was in a dark place for a long time.  It was full of commitment issues, trust issues, and just about everything short of daddy issues.  This girl comes with a lot of baggage.  Jon showed up at a time when I had decided that I didn't want to deal with boys in any form of the word.  I needed time to myself.  After living in "someone else's" skin for almost 2 years, it was time to re-figure out who I was.  Naturally, that's not how life goes.  We started dating and it took me 3 month to feel comfortable in the relationship.

And now?  I couldn't picture my life without him.  There's that quote that floats around every once in awhile talking about how you don't need a guy to be happy.  If you're unhappy single, a significant other won't be able to make you happy.  Happiness comes from within, not from others.  I agreed with that until I realized why Jon is so special to me.  He helped me find myself.  I can't tell you the last time I've felt this happy, levelheaded, confident, and comfortable in just about every sense of the word.  Is it directly because of him? Kind of.  It's who I am because of him.

If we were to break up tomorrow, I would be beyond heartbroken, but I'd walk away a better person than I was walking in.  And because of that, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.


The sunshine feels good on my face.